Praying for flowers

Dear Inspirations 

It's been a while since I wrote to tell you how I feel. Tonight I can honestly say I don't know how I feel at this moment. Life is still good I can say that. Just a few curve balls that I've been facing as of late. I can't give in even on my worst days. I'm having a moment all to myself trying to search for my next move on the board. 

Today marks a month since I've been home from my vacation and up until today I was okay. 

This blog is to remind me that this to shall pass. 

Whatever you maybe facing don't shut the world out. Pick your chin up and push forward through it all. 

Take time to smell the flowers and appreciate them. 

Everyday won't be pink flowers and rainbows but that's something we already knew. 

Prayer will change your situation. 

So I'll take my own advice. 

I still love you. 

Jasmine P. 

I believe in miracles

Dear December 

So we meet again it seems like I was just preparing for you this time last year. For me you mean a lot, your not only the last month in the year but you mean so much more. 

To begin my dad and my sisters birthday fall under you. 

Each December from now on I will celebrate a year that I graduated from college. (Yikes) 

This year I'm going to see Beyonce.

Each December everyone travels to  Nigeria this year I won't be there. 

A semester comes to an end. 

And last but not least It's Jesus Birthday. 

We also celebrate Christmas and get ready for a new year to come. 

Tonight I found myself extremely emotional thinking on my life and all of the things that have happen thus far. 

Perhaps it was the text message from a close friend that really contributed to the way I feel. 

I've been thinking I need to get closer to God and really walk with him. 

I'm constantly praying and I know he is able to do anything in my life but I haven't been fully committed to him. 

I want my life to change. I know it's going to. 

This December,  right now tonight I'm asking for a miracle. 

I know he's going to do it. 

I'm excited for it! I feel the peace around me and it feels good! 

I welcome you with wide arms and a open heart I'm ready to receive it. 

I believe it. 

Love Jasmine P. 

Forever my flower

Dear BSH

As your reading this I hope you know that I love you. Not because of who you are to me but because of how strong you are . When I honestly think of you a lot comes to mind but a few words can be used to sum it all up. 

Beauty

Strength 

Hope 

Beauty because you remind me so much of me when I look at your pictures. I wanted to remind you that beauty is within and it can't be bought. I want you to know that you have it inside. Believe it. Your still young now and you'll be able to look back at your old pictures and laugh. 

Strength because you've already done something that I haven't done. Mainly because I'm to scared and I don't think I would be good at it. I look up to you for it and I'm proud of you because you could have took the easy way out. Your strong because of your situation and I know you can get through anything. 

Hope because when I see you I know that I have a long way to go. I can't give up on my dreams you give me hope that it can all still happen. 

I hope that you know that you can do anything. 

Beauty is her first  name, strength is forever her middle name  last name Hope. 

BSH I love you and I know your constantly growing I'm here for you. 

Yours Truly 

Jasmine P

Week Withdrawals

Dear Inspirations 

I've been home a whole week and I can honesty say it feels good to be home! 

Thanksgiving has came and pass right on by. 

I must admit I miss Nigeria and I have daily withdrawals. 

Today I was thinking did I enjoy it to its full extent? 

Could I have enjoyed it more? 

I started working a job it's just a job. 

I've still been applying for my career. 

I start school in January can you believe it? 

Anyway my withdrawals have been real. 

I'm at a great time in my life where I feel extremely happy about a lot of things. 

Love Jasmine P

Forever love

Dear Nigeria 

The last two months of my life that we spent together have been indescribable. You took me in when I felt  hopeless. Coming here for the second time I feel stronger than I've ever felt. 

The strength of the people here is something that I can't put into words.

Young, old, black brown small fat skinny rich or poor everyone is working. 

I've watched everyone with the babies on their backs and I couldn't help but want to feel a little of their pain. 

Nigeria you've gave me more than I could ever ask for. I've had some of the best days here. I was able to spend my grandfathers last month alive with him. Who knew? 

My grandmothers love has managed to be more than enough to make me smile any day. 

Why I love Nigeria?

People are rich in culture true to their heritage. 

It's clear that they are working and providing for their families. 

The kids appear happy and content because its all that they know.  

Everyone is walking with a purpose selling something, making something or heading to there next destination. Now that might sound like America but here it's a whole different ball game. 

Thank you for everything you've given me in the last two months. 

Forever Love 

Jasmine P. 

P.S. I'm back in Houston (; 

Strength. Endurance. Love.

Dear inspirations 

On my last two days in Lagos I got my hair braided and bonded with  my house girls.  Janet, Monique and Betty. 

In so many ways I will really miss them. As I watched them the last two months I found myself feeling extremely sad for them. 

Let me explain. 

As a house help you are sent from your village to Nigeria to work. 

 They speak a different language not yourba or English . The children come to work and make money for their parents. I've watched them carry buckets of water on their heads, cook, clean up, run errands, make beds, wash clothes and anything else you can think of. 

So many times I've watched them and   at times I wanted to feel their pain for them. 

Where they come from is a small village far away where running water and lights don't exsist yet. 

They come with only the clothes on their backs willing and ready to work. I can't even tell you their exact ages. Boys and girls ages ranging from about 6-16 years old. Their names are changed the minute they arrive. No paper work is even involved. 

Is it legal? 

No, but some how it's allowed and it's accepted.

Now don't get it confused the children are sent by their parents, their parents are paid I believe monthly. The children are paid daily with money to buy food. 

After speaking with my dad about it he explained that being here is ten times better than where they come from. Most of them go back in December to visit family and to take all of the new clothes and shoes. Ultimately they have to share with family and they come back in January. 

Some of them even grow up to love and live in Nigeria. 

My daddy said my grandma use to send them to school to take up some kind of trade. 

Bedimi is an example of that he stayed with my grandma for nine years because no one came back to get him. 

After one year someone was suppose to come back for him but unfortunately they passed away. So for nine years he stayed with grandma and she sent him to carpentry school once he was to big  to run errands. 

Grandma didnt stop telling people about him and eventually word got back to his family.  Bedimi traveled back home and reunited with them. 

Present day, he lives close by Grandma and I believe he owns a small shop. 

Stories like that give me  so much hope. 

"What's meant to be will always be" 

Last night I attempted to teach Janet  her colors. If you could have seen the excitement in her face. It gave my heart pure joy. She picked up everything in the living room asking me the color. I would say the color and she would repeat. Towards the end I was repeating colors that I had already told her so I decided to test her memory. I was proud when she got some of them right like red, black and pink. 

I gave them all two pair of earrings, one of my shirts and a coloring book to share from Cher. (Thanks Cher)  That same night they colored at least half the book.  No really staying in the lines and mixing colors but it didn't matter because they were happy and content. 

Monique is the smartest of the three, well she takes a extra initiative to get things done. 

For example instead of asking whose clothes are who's she sorts them from memory. 

Which can go extremely wrong at times.

Betty is the smallest of them all maybe she's about seven. 

I love Betty because she tries hard to get it done. She doesn't understand Yourba  fully yet. Betty can dance and she's only been at the house for about three months. 

Janet was here two years ago when I came for the first time. I admire Janet because she mumbles her words at times but when she's speaking her own language she's loud and clear. 

Janet loves to watch yourba movies so at night I would turn it to the channel just for her. 

All three of them warmed my heart when I came home they hug me and take my bag. 

They wait on me hand and foot and they know I mean no harm to them. 

Today, broke my heart because they explained to them that I was leaving. 

Janet didn't understand at first she was asking me in her language and I said "tomorrow". 

Immediately, her face turned sad and I wasn't expecting what came next. 

Tears. Of course, my eyes started to water as well. 

I wished I knew her language, I wish I could take her with me. 

Then Monique started crying and then Betty. 

My heart slowed down just a bit and I actually felt a range of emotions. 

Each one of my house girls gave me something 

Strength. Betty 

Endurance. Janet 

Love. Monique 

I know they don't understand English but I wish they knew how they impacted my life. 

Leaving them tomorrow will be hard and I might not ever see them again but the three of them will forever live in my heart. 

Bright ideas have blossomed. 

 Love Jasmine P. 

Janet-Pink 

Betty-Grey 

Monique-Brown 

Janet! 

Maria (my aunts purse/house girl) 

Monique 

Highlights

Dear Inspirations 

With less than a week left in my vacation, I'm at ease with a lot of things in my life. I know that no matter where I go the family that I have In Nigeria will always be. 

This vacation taught me a lot about who I am as a person and where I am in my life. When I read back over my blog I know it will give me so much joy in a few months. 

I needed this time away and I'm glad I got a chance to be around such amazing people. 

It's Sunday who knows what the day will hold. 

I've been a little distant via blog and I don't apologize for it. 

Highlights from the week? Sure. 

Monique (the help) experienced ice cream for the first time in her life. 

I took her with me to KFC she was sooo happy and this moment will forever be in my heart. 

I asked her if she wanted some ice cream not knowing she didn't even know what it was. 

The hugs from those girls give me are pure joy. (I will write about them soon) 

My uncle David went back to Canada. 

I read a good books this week: Why Men Marry B****es by:Marry Argov 

Nice read. It gave me a new perspective and respect for married people. 

It also informed me that I'm in no rush for that ring. Simply because it will come at the right time. 

I think we finally squashed the argument of the decade. (Insider) 

My sister turned 16 or 17 we aren't for sure on the age. (No words) 

My clothes are being made for me to take back and I pray that they are really nice. 

We spent about 3 hours getting ready for a wedding on Saturday just to get there and stay for 30 min. We were extremely late. 

Churrasco, and Sip are places you must visit on your trip to Nigeria. I've been to them at least once a week since I arrived. 

Last night I drove a Mercedes and I know for sure it was love behind the wheel. 

This is my last Sunday in Nigeria. Bitter Sweet feelings. 

Love Jasmine P. 

Monique 

Ice cream venture 

Wedding cameo 

Wummy and her friends. 

And The bride 

Wale and Wummy of life 

Red wine and fair times 

Lost Blog (oct. 26)

Dear inspirations

Today grandpa passed away..

I don't 

The top sentence is what I wrote on Friday today is Monday. 

Grandpa passed away and at that moment I didn't know how to feel. So at first I didn't cry. Perhaps the reality hadn't sat in but the day after.. When I saw them taking the casket in tears crawled down my face. I didn't have shades to hide behind and I wish I did at that moment. 

Muslim tradition you bury really soon.  So he died on Friday they buried him on Saturday. 

I felt pain inside because like I told you before I didn't grow up with grandpa. I can say that I was in Nigeria his last month of being alive and I can say that I went to visit him often. When someone passes away you think to yourself well at least I do "could I have seen them more? Was it more that I could have done?" So those questions filled my mind as I sat there watching them pray for grandpa. 

There is always life and then there is the reality of life. My grandpa is dead  but in a perfect world he is free from pain and suffering. 

The last month of his life I brought him medicine, we talked, I watched him eat and relax. I took pictures with him and I was able to freeze the moment. 

I won't go into depth the burial process or exactly how it made me feel. I will say that it made me a stronger person. It made me realize that this side of my family is extremely strong. So deep down inside I can be strong too. 

Your only as strong as the people around you and for that I'm forever indebted to Nigeria. 

Today is the third day and Muslims believe that the dead starts going to heaven so all day they pray. They cook beans and plantain because they believe that the spirits eat that as well. 

On the eighth day is a celebration of life. Which is this coming Saturday. 

My father will arrive on Friday. I'm happy that he is coming I missed him a lot. 

At the burial I had on my shades and before I knew it tears were pouring from my eyes and someone said don't cry you still have grandma.. 

I think I took that as a insult at first. 

No one can tell you how to feel and no one knows how you feel inside. In so many ways people deal with things  different. So behind the shades I had to toughen up and deal. 

Love Jasmine P. 

This blog was written 10 days ago right after it happen. 

Today I'm in a different place about it and I can only be grateful for all that happen. 

Fam Bam

Dear Inspirations 

The joy that I felt over the last few days has been truly a blessing. Who turns 24 in another country? Besides "them". Extremely blessed to be around people that love me so much. The entire night of my birthday felt like I was on a cloud just floating. 

The music was playing and I was just floating in thin air. 

Friday night was a movie that keeps playing back in my head. The type of fun that you can't put into words. Usually I'm up dancing in the club but for some reason I found myself sitting down most of the night enjoying the ride. Partially because my shoes weren't as comfortable as I needed them to be. 

Some say that you come alive at night and I agree with it. 

Watching the people around me come alive was one for the BOOKS especially Cher. I'll just say you had to be there. 

I'm sooooo happy I got to see Cher one of the highlights of my life. Yes! My life. We share a lot of things in common and traveling is one. Cher understands this life and how free it feels. 

We both agree that you just can't put Nigeria into words.  Travel of life. 

I'll love her endlessly for that one statement alone.  

My daddy arrived on Friday and the countless hugs he gave me fueled my soul. My daddy was really happy to see me and I felt the same way. 

We didn't spend much time together initially but the joy was just enough. 

Saturday was my grandfathers burial party. After eight days it's a celebration of life. When I looked around yesterday everyone was happy. About four sets of drummers were walking around beating and singing while people danced and others sprayed money. Such a sight to see and be around. My little cousins were dancing the girls are the cutest little things. 

Love Jasmine P. 

Daddy's home

Daddy, Auntie and Uncle 

Cher 

Beat the drums 

The party 

Cousins of life 

Little cousins and Maria 

Birthday bliss

Dear Inspirations  

Yesterday was my birthday and I can only describe it in a few words.  Free. Exhilarating. Happy. Every birthday I feel as of the world around me  has paused to celebrate with me. This time I knew the world was moving and I knew that we were celebrating together. The weekend was full of laughs and great moments. I can't pinpoint one exact moment but I know for sure it was a Fantastic weekend. Cher my world came to visit her cousins and stopped in on my weekend. That in itself was epic for me! 

More to come. Shortly stay tuned. 

Love Jasmine 

Grandpa

Dear, Inspirations 

I write to you in this moment that I feel extremely down. As I sit right here watching my grandpa in so much pain. 

When I walked in I could see that something was wrong and I immediately felt some type of way. 

So I tried to hide the tears but now it's more evident then ever that grandpa is sick. The tears start to fall down my face...

The doctor is here and I don't know if I can take it because I'm not strong enough. 

I know these type if things come with old age and grandpa is 87. 

I listen to the stories from my cousin he use to be up and really at it. 

Him and my dad have similar features. I can't help but love a man that raised my dad to be who he is to me. 

Apart of me is sad because I didn't get to really spend a lot of time with active and at it grandpa.  

To be perfectly honest I've seen grandpa a total of three times. 

He came to see me in Houston when I was about seven. 

Two years ago I spent time with him here in Nigeria.  Last time grandpa knew who I was by my perfume so before I left I gave it to him to keep. 

And finally this time in Nigeria. 

When I arrived the first thing he said was "Welcome Welcome" 

The idea of being so far away and still being able to feel all of his love is something I can't put in words. 

My first week in Nigeria we talked about me going back to America and sending him medicine to stay young. 

It's evident that grandpa is suffering from old age he isn't responding or talking today. 

Grandma and me share so much in common she has a small head. Queen of dramatics and she has a caring and given heart. I'm here watching her be strong as if her husband isn't sick she is still able to laugh with me. 

I love him and to lose him while I'm here would be tragic. 

My prayers are that grandpa pulls through.  Oct.23.2013 7:05pm

Yours Truly 

Jasmine P. 

Dubai goodbye

Dear inspirations

During my short stay in Dubai I think I saw just enough. Here's my take on Dubai in 4 days. 

The mall of Emirate and Dubai Mall combined are 2places that I found with more than enough reasons why I don't have a credit card. We spent 16 hours in the both of them combined in two days. Now you might be wondering what did I buy? 

Well to answer that I can honestly say I bought only what my pockets would let me and everything else had to stay. 

The first day of shopping I found myself the happiest kid on the block, shopping is my thing! Then again who doesn't enjoy nice new things. 

Stores to stop in on your trip to Dubai 

Max

Splash 

H&M 

Forever 21 (this company is loaded) 

M&S 

New look 

Victoria Secret 

And of course all of your designer stores that you love

Gucci

Chanel 

Christian loubtin

Prada 

LV 

Many more! 

I was thoroughly impressed with the selection of stores Dubai had to offer! When I tell you shopping is real it is! I saw a taxi riding through the mall letting people off to shop. 

The Dubai Mall is one of if not the largest mall in the world over 1200 stores over 100 places to eat it was the definition of Mall Heaven in my book. 

I think I'm a pretty simple but complexed type of girl but when it was all said and done my feet were hurting and I was ready to Go! 

It was the shoes I was wearing and I knew better than to wear them to the mall. 

I know for a fact shopping is in my blood because my cousin is "about that life" expensive taste I might add. 

I think I was exhausted from the day before. Plus we had spent 4 hours at "The Gold Souk"

The Gold Souk is where every Arabic in Dubai sells gold. Real gold, fake gold, white gold. A wide variety of things are there as well such as fabric, linens, attire, souvenirs, shoes purses, hair, food. In fact I was tired of trying to be hustled the men would walk up to me saying.. "Gucci Chanel prada Lv handbags watches wallets, Brazillian Peruvian, hair" I was a little offended lol and at some point I said "do I look like I wear fake stuff" the guy replied no ones looks like it but everyone likes knockoffs. 

Can you believe he had the nerve? 

My cousin said its so illegal to sell that stuff and I you are caught jail time is where you will end up. I never seen Sex in the city but she referred me to that movie. 

Why were we at the Gold Souk in the first place? 

Buying a chain for my cousin Lamies Husband. After 2 days of negotiation and store browsing we found the perfect chain (we hope) for a nice amount of money. While we were there I realized how uneducated I am in gold shopping and how I never took a interest. It also confirmed that I have expensive taste and gave me a deeper appreciation for Diamonds. Yes, I saw the perfect ring. Well perfect in my mind. Tried it on and quickly envisioned me in the dress. Took it off and all of the music stopped. 

Apart from my shopping shifts I found myself missing London. 

The weather in Dubai was about 80degrees and I felt some type of way for all of the women I saw covered in black from head to toe. 

The religion calls for it but I just don't think I would be happy all covered up. 

The women wear all black and the men wear white. 

The women that weren't covered up were so beautiful there faces and eyebrows were absolutely gorgeous. 

 Burj khalifa was a beautiful sight to see. The tallest building in the world made me feel even shorter. 

Dubai is definitely a place I would love to visit again on a longer vacation! 

That's about it. 

Yours Truly 

Jasmine P. 

Negotiating Gold 

Cover up 

Burj khalifi 

The mall 

Follow the rules