Here's a poem I wrote last year. I was really down and out about the
situation.
It was actually published in The Panther newspaper
No Mother to Me
So much could be said but instead I'll say nothing.
It's so crazy that I never wanted anything from you.
I never needed your money, never
needed shelter from you or security.
I wanted something so simple from you that you made it complex.
It’s a lot question
of mine that will cotinue to be unanswered.
The pieces from the puzzle just didn't quite make it out of the store.
And these shoes came with no strings.
Sad to say that I put this thing called life together with no manual from
you.
You couldn't answer 3 questions correctly about me aside from the basics and
I couldn't either.
Let’s not pretend because it’s the American way because in actuality I don't
know you and you don't know me.
We are almost strangers to each other
We are not in any form or shape similar.
All this time I've been trying to get close to you and do so many things to
make you proud or to get some kind of gratitude. Some kind of encouragement but
it never happened that way.
Money can’t buy a mother.
And no actress can play that role better than the mothers who have been all
in since birth.
For the pain that I feel no medicine can be prescribed.
we have the same last name and we share the same blood that's it.
And for that I'll say you are no mother to me.
Dear Inspirations
This week has been a great week; I've received
amazing emails, and text messages from you all. I really hope that I have
helped some of you out. I wanted to write to you to get some advice. We all
have problems; we all need a little help so here I am asking you. I want you
all to know a little bit about me. Often you share with me so now it’s my turn.
This is my truth so here goes.
Since the age of 3 my mother has been in and
out of my life. I accepted that she was young and needed to live her life so I
lived with my grandmother. At first I never could really understand what I did
to deserve it. She missed birthdays,
holidays, and school engagements. Just recently she missed my college
graduation. I had already prepared myself for it though. I can say that I've
been blessed to have amazing people in my life but I have always had a small
void in my heart because of my mother’s absence. I consider myself really lucky
to have the people that are in my life. I know there are plenty of women and
girls that have been through the exact same thing. All I ever wanted was for
her to support me, support my dreams, and to be my #1 cheerleader.
Just recently I did a documentary with a
friend about some of the baggage I carry around as a woman in this documentary
I found out how broken I really am inside. To be honest until that moment I didn’t
really feel like it was baggage. But in actuality I carry around anger,
jealousy, hurt and confusion some days. Now you read this and think (NO not
Jasmine) yes me. I smile because I'm greater than all of that. I smile because
a piece of me has overcome. Only a piece though.
The details on why she wasn't there for me or
everything that happened isn’t really important. Someday I hope to be able to
actually look her in the face and say hey I forgive you for everything, I
accept you for who you are, and everything else is in the past.
I haven’t reached that point and I’m not sure
when I will. I ask God daily to help me with this constant struggle because I
need to be a better person I need that void that I feel to disappear. I know I
am stronger because of the hurt and because of the broken promises but someday
I hope to stand in the mirror to say "I'm over it"
So here is where you come into play. How do I
do it? Where should I start? How does one truly let go of the hurt to move
forward? Praying is the only answer I have.
Email me your responses
@DearJasmineP@gmail.com
Thanks in advance
