On my last two days in Lagos I got my hair braided and bonded with my house girls. Janet, Monique and Betty.
In so many ways I will really miss them. As I watched them the last two months I found myself feeling extremely sad for them.
Let me explain.
As a house help you are sent from your village to Nigeria to work.
They speak a different language not yourba or English . The children come to work and make money for their parents. I've watched them carry buckets of water on their heads, cook, clean up, run errands, make beds, wash clothes and anything else you can think of.
So many times I've watched them and at times I wanted to feel their pain for them.
Where they come from is a small village far away where running water and lights don't exsist yet.
They come with only the clothes on their backs willing and ready to work. I can't even tell you their exact ages. Boys and girls ages ranging from about 6-16 years old. Their names are changed the minute they arrive. No paper work is even involved.
Is it legal?
No, but some how it's allowed and it's accepted.
Now don't get it confused the children are sent by their parents, their parents are paid I believe monthly. The children are paid daily with money to buy food.
After speaking with my dad about it he explained that being here is ten times better than where they come from. Most of them go back in December to visit family and to take all of the new clothes and shoes. Ultimately they have to share with family and they come back in January.
Some of them even grow up to love and live in Nigeria.
My daddy said my grandma use to send them to school to take up some kind of trade.
Bedimi is an example of that he stayed with my grandma for nine years because no one came back to get him.
After one year someone was suppose to come back for him but unfortunately they passed away. So for nine years he stayed with grandma and she sent him to carpentry school once he was to big to run errands.
Grandma didnt stop telling people about him and eventually word got back to his family. Bedimi traveled back home and reunited with them.
Present day, he lives close by Grandma and I believe he owns a small shop.
Stories like that give me so much hope.
"What's meant to be will always be"
Last night I attempted to teach Janet her colors. If you could have seen the excitement in her face. It gave my heart pure joy. She picked up everything in the living room asking me the color. I would say the color and she would repeat. Towards the end I was repeating colors that I had already told her so I decided to test her memory. I was proud when she got some of them right like red, black and pink.
I gave them all two pair of earrings, one of my shirts and a coloring book to share from Cher. (Thanks Cher) That same night they colored at least half the book. No really staying in the lines and mixing colors but it didn't matter because they were happy and content.
Monique is the smartest of the three, well she takes a extra initiative to get things done.
For example instead of asking whose clothes are who's she sorts them from memory.
Which can go extremely wrong at times.
Betty is the smallest of them all maybe she's about seven.
I love Betty because she tries hard to get it done. She doesn't understand Yourba fully yet. Betty can dance and she's only been at the house for about three months.
Janet was here two years ago when I came for the first time. I admire Janet because she mumbles her words at times but when she's speaking her own language she's loud and clear.
Janet loves to watch yourba movies so at night I would turn it to the channel just for her.
All three of them warmed my heart when I came home they hug me and take my bag.
They wait on me hand and foot and they know I mean no harm to them.
Today, broke my heart because they explained to them that I was leaving.
Janet didn't understand at first she was asking me in her language and I said "tomorrow".
Immediately, her face turned sad and I wasn't expecting what came next.
Tears. Of course, my eyes started to water as well.
I wished I knew her language, I wish I could take her with me.
Then Monique started crying and then Betty.
My heart slowed down just a bit and I actually felt a range of emotions.
Each one of my house girls gave me something
Strength. Betty
Endurance. Janet
Love. Monique
I know they don't understand English but I wish they knew how they impacted my life.
Leaving them tomorrow will be hard and I might not ever see them again but the three of them will forever live in my heart.
Bright ideas have blossomed.
Love Jasmine P.
Betty-Grey
Monique-Brown
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