Reminders to make it happen

Dear inspirations 

We know that each day is a new day yet some of us wake up with yesterday on our mind. It's gone and we can't get it back. 

So my question is are you using your time wisely? 

I'm having a real moment with myself right now. I haven't been. I've been to tired to fuel the dream in the last two weeks I've made excuses for myself. 

I've applied places and I've even looked into a few things but I'm just kinda like blah blah blah. 

It shouldn't be this way. 

I have so much potential but what's potential if you don't do anything with it. I know I have to reboot and shut my system down from losing my aunt. 

Maybe I'm mourning her death? But will that be my excuse for life? No. 

Shake yourself Jasmine snap out of it. Do what you set out to do.

Sometimes you have to lose to win. Happy Wednesday! 

Enough of my streaming thoughts. I love y'all btw. 

Love Jasmine P. 

Forever in my heart.

Dear Inspirations 

On behalf of our family I would like to thank each and everyone of you for all of your calls, messages, support and everyone that came by. 

When I think about my life without  aunt Julie I wouldn't be able to stand here. 

If you knew Julie you knew that she had a big heart. She loved everyone unconditionally. Julie wasn't like a mother to me she was a mother to me.to my sisters to my friends and possibly to you. 

She was easily everyone's  favorite. 

When she was sick she kept fighting even when she didn't know how she was going to make it. 

If you knew Julie you knew she loved The Lord and she was a prayer warrior. One of the things that I can remember the most about Julie is her smile and how she was able to connect with a stranger. We would be in the store and she would stay in there talking for hours. We would go out to eat and she would hold conversations with the waiter. I remember thinking she just love to talk! 

Those are memories that I will hold dear to my heart. 

 We know that God only takes the best. Today is a celebration of Julie's life and her legacy. Even though she isn't with us in the presence she will be with us in our hearts. Please continue to keep our family uplifted in your prayers we will need it as time goes on. 

The final moment. 

Pictures are worth a thousand words. Here's one. 

At Peace

Dear inspirations 

When you lose someone close to you what do you do? 

Do you blame yourself for not being there? 

Do you think about all the times you could have checked on the person? 

Or do you even think far back to the first encounters you had with this person? 

Well one of my Heroes went to heaven last Thursday. 

Aunt Julie was a hero because she helped everyone. She didn't met strangers and she loved us all unconditional. 

I contribute half of my success to her. She is the reason I have the friends I have and the reason I went as far as I have. 

Today I swallow the fact that she is gone and she will NEVER return. Julie was sick but she was a fighter. She fought when she didn't have to she fought when she was tired. 

I know I'm all over the place with this one but I just needed to get it out. 

I'm upset with myself because I didn't talk to her as much as I should have the last year and a half. 

I didn't call get before she went to surgery. I knew she would come out. 

And to be honest I think I was upset with her for moving and not including me in her plans when I left to Nigeria. 

I'm not upset anymore and I regret not calling her before she went to surgery. 

She never made it out of her second heart surgery but apart of me is at peace.

 

At peace because she was who she was to me. At peace because she believed in me. At peace because I called her for every birthday. At peace because I prayed for her all the time. At peace because she made a lasting impact on me and the people around me. Most of all I'm at peace because I know she went to heaven. 

If you can read this now auntie I'll say "thank you for everything, and I love you for who you are to me and you will never die in my heart. 

On Saturday when we lay you to rest you will live on. 

Love Jasmine P. 

Safe haven?

Can I get a window seat because I don't want nobody next to me. 

I'm internally bleeding. 

Emotionally leaving. 

She's lost in her mind trying to find her way. 

There you were sitting by the window and I should have known that it was you. 

I'm forced by my mind to ignore but that just won't do. 

The flower in my hair and your deep stare. 

It's as if you knew who I was and I could smell your drug. 

I've been tucked away with no intentions of misbehaving but there you were becoming my safe haven. 

I close my eyes and I push everyone away and yet you still stand, 

You still command to be a man. 

I'm not that amazing and my life is always blazing. 

But yet you still try, you still hear my cry and when I ignore your calls. I still feel your warm connection. 

I still know you care. And if you think for one moment I don't care I do I just have a stupid way of showing it. 

But until the dust settles and the feathers are plucked I'll be here from a distance pretending to have it all figured. You know and I know that I'm suffocating in my own thoughts. I'm caught in my bubble and I'm sort of trouble but some day some how, 

I hope to find my self in your safe haven

. 

Just drafting on a blurry road

Day 5 

Who is it that your trying to be?

What happens if your never that person?

Do you cease to exist because of it? 

What happens when your imagination gets the best of you? 

Who will keep your dreams alive if you don't?

What if I said your a winner and it's all in your brain would you believe me? 

I'm sure you wouldn't because at times I don't believe it. 

Who said the road would be skittles and snowflakes? 

I think the media forces us to believe that things are easy. 

Where does the hard work take place? 

Is it deep within your soul? 

Is it the sleepless nights? 

Do your student loans count?

 

I know how great You can be. 

It's up to you daily to reach for the bucket of dreams. 

Keep going even on the hard days. 

That job your at isn't your highest point. 

You have more time and if you start today it's yours. 

I'm just drafting. 

June and July

Dear June and then Ju(LY)

When I think back on how great June was.... wait who am I kidding June was horrible in my mind. I found myself sinking in my own misery.  I went to work, home and to the gym a few days. A whole month went by and I don't think I have anything to show for it.

I set myself on this imaginary time meter and now that I'm no where near my plan I feel like I failed.

Did I fail? Why does it feel this way? 
How come I continue to look around me at the people who reached higher success.
My dad is proud of me for all that I've done thus far.
My mom encourages me daily to do better.
All of my friends are in my corner and they cheer me on.

Yet in my mind somehow I feel like I have nothing going for myself.
The month of June was rough on me mentally. I wasn't even able to complete a random act of kindness. 30 days passed by and because I was being selfish I gave nothing and I shared nothing with the world. I'm ashamed of my selfishness. This week is my last week of my current job until August.
I hope for a new job in a new direction. I pray for a better situation and then I have to stop and ask myself is this situation that bad?

My life has been on a countdown thus far silently I've been keeping track of my accomplishments and my downfalls.
(122 days til my birthday ) I really can't help it.
I'm proud of where I am but I'm upset because I need to be at other places.

With social media taking over the world day by day I think its easy to get caught up in the hype of what you should be, could be, want to be, hope to be, aspire to be, need to be.

I have a 101 blue prints on what my life will look like in the next 10 years. What happens if none of those blue prints work out?

I'll have to accept it and go with the plan God has for me. It's easily said but hard to follow and wait on.

I am hard on myself but shouldn't I be.
Who wants to wake up at 40 still standing in the same spot.
Sometimes things are out of your control and all you can do is just breath.

Dear Ju(ly)

I ask that this month I have patience with myself, that I take the time to appreciate where I am standing and how much I've grown as a woman.
I hope that I can give and really accept things for what they are.

Life can be overwhelming at times and I will be the first to say that "You can do it.
in the same token I have a hard time taking my own advice. It could all be so simple but instead its called life.
Enjoy when life is great and most of all don't give up when life gets to hard. I want joy in July that's all.

Thank you to all of my followers, friends and family who continue to believe in ME.

Love Jasmine P.

My first practice reel

This was literally 2 years ago I cant believe how fast time flew. I appreciate the experience and some day I hope to explore my on camera talent.